From my mother

Dear David,

After reading your blog, memories of when you first brought Janet home to Atlanta came back as if it were yesterday.

I remember your calling me and saying "Mom, last night I told the woman I love, that I love her. She loves me too. " Of course, I immediately asked "Who is on the phone because, my son, David, doesn't share information on his personal dating life?" Then you said, "Last night we had a blizzard in Illinois and Janet offered me the floor. I didn't stay there!"

(not QUITE true, Mom. Actually, Janet's bed got soaked by a huge leak in the ceiling, so she joined me on the floor. And for the record, we only kissed. No really, I'm not just saying that because her parents read this blog. That's all. But it was enough)

The other part of the conversation was that you and Janet would not have children and I said "Don't worry, your sister will give me grandchildren and you don't marry someone to have children. You marry because you love them."

(Janet's health was always a known factor-- she had just finished radiation treatment when I met her. But Mom was right, love is more important than having a 'normal' life. Whatever that means)

We discussed the upcoming plans for your to come home for your birthday to Atlanta then you wanted to meet Janet's parents in Raleigh and spend Christmas with them. Afterward, you would return to Atlanta and bring Janet.

Of course, I should have guessed that you were falling in love with your "music teacher" because you stopped dating Meng (my then girlfriend) and were most involved in your flute lessons. It got to be that was pretty much all you talked about. One time you even asked me to buy you a new sweater because your were going to your teacher's concert. You never cared about clothes! That was the first hint of your developing relationship with Janet.

The unusual part of the first meeting with Janet, was the fact that you brought this beautiful, lovely, sweet girl home and left her with me for 3 days while you met your obligation to your friends to go spelunking in Tennessee (the guys leaned on me pretty hard to go. Next time around, Janet's strength was good enough to come. She never was the 'wait patiently at home' type). It was probably the best way to meet a prospective daughter in law.

I found out very quickly how smart and kind she was. My leg was in a cast from a tennis injury and Janet helped with everything around the house while sharing stories of everything from meeting and falling in love with you to school in Interlochen; life in Singapore, and her love of dogs. She loved little Benji (our household's Yorkie, aka dog substitute) right away.

One of the most endearing qualities that Janet had was being able to discuss the great composers lives as if they were the next door neighbors. She brought these people to life by talking about their wives, children, (sometimes an extra girlfriend), their inspirations; their tempers, even the food they ate! Janet had such varied interests and could bring up the composers and then switch to how wedding traditions began!

The most memorable evening at that time is when you came home from spelunking. It was like watching a movie they way Janet opened the French doors and went outside to the patio. You came running up the brick walkway and you both fell not only into each others arms, but into the bushes where you proceeded to cling to each other for a long time. Your friends came carrying their things into the house and neither of you moved.

The glow you both emanated when you looked at each other was purely joyful to me to see. This continued until the end. The love you had was very special to see. It made everyone who loved you both happy to know that you were lucky enough to have found each other.

Janet became a second daughter and I loved her tremendously for who she was and how she was with you. A mother always hopes that her child will find someone who will love them as much as they do. Janet achieved that and for that I am most grateful.